Own your mental condition. Then learn, fight, win!

Lessons learned from my lived experience with serious mental illness

Mental health is health. Be aware of and learn about it. Take a psychological first aid course. Talk about it with family, friends and colleagues. Normalize the conversation and live it!

Here are some thoughts, practices and lessons learned that have worked for me during my lifetime of lived experience with serious mental illness.

If in doubt, go see a mental health professional. When I rocketed into full blown mania in 2014 as a two-star general—and president of National Defense University—I was fired, forced to retire, ordered to get a psychiatric evaluation and hospitalized. The good news is that out of this mental health crisis and devastation, I got a proper diagnosis (bipolar disorder type 1, psychosis and PTSD) and eventually the right meds (for me, lithium and Lamictal).

On the day I was diagnosed at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Washington, D.C., I was in horrible condition—suicidal and broken of mind, body and spirit—but I thanked and hugged my doctor and did not resist the diagnosis. “Thank you, doctor! Now I know what’s wrong with me, and I have a target with a face on it that I can do battle with!”

Owning my diagnosis

Don’t deny it or try to wish it away. Embrace it! So, I decided to own my diagnosis—right then and there—and to learn, fight and win.

• Own it. Embrace your condition—no shame or embarrassment—and know that it’s okay to not be okay.

• Learn all about your condition: online, videos, books, non-profit organizations, peer support, medical professionals, conferences, discussions. Become an expert on your condition.

• Fight. Develop your recovery strategy, then go into battle with meds, therapy and healthy living (diet, exercise, sleep, water, low stress, etc.), anchored in the “5 P’s” of purpose, people, place, perseverance and perspective.

• Create your own purpose, one that inspires, energizes and drives you forward. Then focus like a laser on that mission!

• Surround yourself with happy, fun, friendly people who energize and lift you up!

• Live in and go to places that make you happy and enable you to pursue your passions. 

• Persevere! Never quit, and never give up. Cultivate the will and spirit to fight and win. 

• Maintain perspective by thinking objectively about your own thoughts and countering those that are negative and self-defeating. Practice metacognition.

• Win. Create a recovery that’s built to last! Build your new life and manage your condition step-by-step, day-by-day. Choose to adopt an “attitude of gratitude” in all circumstances, especially when times are hard. 

Finally, imagine and create your own new life of meaning and purpose.

Out of crisis, near death and devastation, I’ve been reborn with a new life mission: Share my bipolar story to help stop stigma, promote recovery and save lives. I speak, write, lead, confer, advise and encourage. I’ve moved from darkness to light; from death to life. This new life is my best life.

My bipolar disorder is not going to go away, but I know how to manage it and leverage the superpowers that it gives me: creativity, compassion, energy, drive, ingenuity, strength and more. I love my new life of purpose, health, happiness and community.

My bipolar and mental health tribes are amazing, inspiring and global—many of my best friends, battle buddies and closest colleagues. I love them!

I am grateful for my mental, physical and spiritual health and for the hope and faith that fuel me.